Impossible happiness
Notiert von: Johanna Joswig
Everyone strives for something in life, and when we finally achieve it, we feel satisfied. This results in a dopamine rush that makes us happy. This happiness can be short or long. Happiness heals us. As adults we experience happiness a lot less because we have forgotten how to enjoy ourselves. We worry about what will come and what our future will be like. Will there be another war, another authoritarian regime that oppresses its citizens? Will there be another natural disaster that leaves the world, or at least part of it, in shock?
The news reports which we consume are concerning for a moment, but with our minds we have already moved on, thinking about the next shock that could possibly happen. On this globalised planet we hear something shocking every day and at some point we become immune or even numb to it. Meanwhile the problems and disasters keep piling up and it feels endless, as if there is no end to the negativity. So we accept it or we try to prevent it. But sometimes the imagined solution is not the best option, because when we tried it, we soon realised what a failure it was. We have led ourselves in the wrong direction while trying to fix it. We will feel helpless and uninspired. So we just sit there and watch our decline as we get smaller and smaller and the problems get bigger and bigger. It feels like we are in the middle of the ocean and a big claw is pulling us down by our ankles and dragging us deeper and deeper, we try with all our strength and willpower to come back to the surface.
But we are drowning in a deep and dark ocean that takes all our energy, our body feels heavy and tired and we are almost at the bottom of the ocean, we have almost given up, suddenly out of the corner of our eye something bright and sparkling catches our attention. We turn our heads but cannot make out what it is. Curious, we swim closer and see a shimmering white pearl sitting in its shell in the middle of the deep dark ocean. We are enlightened, surprised and overwhelmed with joy and gratitude for our good fortune in finding the pearl at this difficult moment. Then we grab the pearl carefully with our left hand and we hold the pearl tightly. We slowly gain energy and are able to come to the surface and regain our will power. We hold the pearl in our left hand and are confident that all will be well.
We wake up in our bed and realise that there was nothing pulling us down, no pearl, no darkness, no ocean. We just thought we had reached the end, we were at the finish line of our lives, we saw only darkness and no light. We felt hopeless and exhausted and used, as if everything was just a play and we were just a puppet controlled from above. We continued to live to pay the rent, the food, the water bill, the taxes to stay alive in this cruel society. Society tells us how evolved and developed everything is, but we are just competing against each other all the time.
It may not be the same kind of survival as at the beginning of human existence but it is still about survival and not falling into a hole. There’s no room for mistakes, we’re supposed to be perfect, graduate with flying colours, have a social life, know what you want to do in the future, who you want to be, get married and have kids. We are so focused on being perfect that we forget what it feels like to be happy. This is our beautiful and charming society. I love it.
Zur Autorin:
Johanna Joswig, 19, liebt es zu backen und zu kochen und neue Sachen auszuprobieren. Johanna macht zurzeit (Sept. 2023-August 2024) einen Freiwilligendienst im Papperlapapp und kommt aus Düsseldorf. Sie genießt gerne die kleinen Dinge, liebt es, in der Natur zu sein und dort ihr Lieblingsmotiv “Blumen” zu fotografieren.